Soooo…I’m three glasses of wine (Red Velvet Cupcake, to be exact…YUM) in and all of a sudden I feel as though I can write. Like, really, really, write. Maybe it’s just some leftover denial of the fact that I’m done with college and I really want to bullshit an essay right now. Or maybe it’s because I’ve been trying to think of new and improved segments to put on this blog, since even I’m getting over outfit posts. I just feel as though everyone is doing them and for the most part, we’re just wearing a whole lot of pieces from Forever 21. You know? But that’s besides the point. I’m three glasses of wine in (as previously stated) and I feel as though I have no inhibitions. I have no reason NOT to post something. And then this idea dawns on me. What if I drink one more glasses of wine and then run upstairs to my computer, as fast as I can, and quickly type out a blog post. No editing, no thinking; just writing. What will happen? Maybe some sort of brilliant spew of thoughts will come out of my fingertips (and brain)? Alas, in this case, I feel as though I’m writing more about me writing than anything else. So I’m going to change the subject.
I’ve been a manager at a clothing store for almost a month now. It’s crazy. I never thought I would be a manager of a store and in small way, I almost feel as though I’m taking the easy way out. I’ve been talking to all of these recent college grads who are either working their asses of to get a “real” job, or my oldest friend, who is killing it with grad school interviews, and it’s making me feel as though where I’m at, right now, is not good enough. Like, I almost feel a little bit embarrassed when people ask me what I’m doing at the moment and I just say, “Well, I’m managing a clothing store right now.” Because the way they look at me afterwards usually says everything. I don’t want to do this forever. I almost didn’t even apply for the position because I was afraid I would get stuck doing it. You know? I don’t want to be here forever. The idea of being here, in this same place, a year from now kind of gives me the heebie-jeebies. But, at the same time, I’m terrified of putting myself out there. I’m so afraid that I’ll apply for a big-girl job and I’ll get declined, due to the fact that I didn’t get X-degree at Y-Univeristy. Yet as I stand there for the billionth time, hoping and praying that someone walks in those doors so I can do something productive, I realize that I’m capable of more. I’m so bored already, and it’s only been a few weeks. The idea of being here a month, doing the same thing every morning and every night, is not an idea I’m particularly fond of. Who would’ve though that being surrounded by clothes on a regular basis was not my idea of heaven after all?
Speaking of the store (in a very off topic sort of way), I snuck a peek at my cell phone today while I was working and saw that my boyfriend posted a picture from his ski trip to Mammoth (finally!). I was so bummed, mainly cause I wasn’t able to experience such a great view and instead was cooped up inside an empty room for nine hours instead. If I am going to be here for a few months (at least till the summer), then I at least want to get some traveling done before that time is done. I’m heading to London in March, which I’m literally counting down the days till, and I’m desperate to plan another trip to New Orleans. I just loved it there so much, and since my 5-year anniversary with Trevor is also coming up in March, I figure we could just go there and use that special marker as an excuse. It’s such a great place to visit; amazing food, incredible music…and it makes me feel as though I’m back in France. The whole time we were there in April, I just kept turning to my dad and saying “It’s like we’re in Europe”. If you’ve been there, you’ll know what I’m talking about. From there, I would love to go somewhere fun and interesting this summer; almost like a last hurrah. I realize that in a few years, I won’t be able to go places at the touch of a button. There will be work and responsibilities that need to be taken care of before anything else can be done. I figure right now, at 22, I should take advantage of my retail job and take the occasional long weekend to explore and learn more about myself and the people I love.
Well, that’s it. I’m kind of getting bored with listening (reading) to myself talk and I’m sure you’re just as fed up with me, too. I guess this was more of an experiment than anything else. I’ll probably read it tomorrow morning and cringe a little bit, shake my head and then never do this ever again. But I just think (right now, three glasses of wine, etc.) that it could spice things up a little bit. Most fashion blogs just post pictures of their outfits and who makes them and why they like the pants they’re wearing, etc, etc. But I like it when things are spiced up a little bit. I like it when we can get to know the blogger as a person; when we’re able to connect. And God knows the majority of us like an occasional glass (or three) of wine.
So there you go. Join the conversation? Be a part of my wino wednesday? Let’s have a virtual glass (of red or white) together and talk about our lives; rant about what it is that is on our minds. Most of us really don’t do it enough.
