hippie at heart

A couple more shots from John Jack Cirone. The guy is such a pro at capturing light and making his models look like they glow from the inside out. There’s always such a trip when you see the way photographers see you – like you’re really looking at yourself through someone else’s eyes.

I’m still overwhelmed by the response that came out of yesterday’s post. Writing is such a funny outlet for me. I’m always writing. There are always words and I tend to get lost in my thoughts as I weave together whatever it is that I’m thinking or feeling at any given time. I feel like I constantly have words that just bang around the inside of my head and occasionally, I give myself the rare opportunity to sit down and actually try and articulate what I’m thinking about. Sometimes, I feel like it just turns into word vomit and that I get TOO transparent and probably share too much with virtual strangers.

But that’s the point of writing, isn’t it? Trying to project some words into the universe that other people can somehow find an emotional connection to – and connect with them, they did. I got more messages, comments and texts about that post than I could count on both my hands – proving that we’re really all in this together and sometimes, it’s all a little bit easier said than done. My heart hurt for a lot of you, since clearly, we’re all fighting our own versions of the same epic battle. Dating is a hard world, I’ve come to discover, and based on everyone’s feedback, it seems we’re all tinkering along, trying to find the recipe for success as twenty-somethings in 2015.

There’s a phenomenal quote by Janis Joplin that I’ve always recited to myself whenever I start feeling down about different chapters of my life:

There have been A LOT of moments this past year where I should have been a little bit more lenient on certain subjects. Where I should have decided to compromise, or just said “okay – whatever” instead of putting my foot down and standing up for what I inherently, deep down, believed was right. Granted, that stubbornness and hard-headedness is part of the reason of why I’m in my current situation – but in all honesty, would I have wanted it any other way? What kind of life is it if you can’t be authentically true to yourself – and raise your voice and speak out about what you know is the best possible version of the life you want for yourself.

I had a date last night and for the most part, I would say it went pretty successfully. He was fun, a bit older than myself, the conversation flowed, there was wine and tentative plans were made for another date in the near future. But one thing he said to me keeps sticking out in my mind: “You’re glowing.” He said it a couple of times and I don’t really entirely know what it means, but maybe it kind of has to do with the idea that sometimes, other people (even my dear photographer friend John) can see the beginnings of an inner glow within you better than you can see it for yourself.

I just think at some point you get so comfortable in your own skin and so proud of where you’re headed, that you kind of just generate this infectious energy that becomes hard to ignore and which, if the time is right, will attract the people who you’re destined to surround yourself with.

Now I’m not saying that I’m anywhere at that point yet, but if two people have been able to notice that essence, then maybe I’m on kind of the right track. Until then, the goal is just to keep on keeping on – while at the same time, never compromising that eternal truth that makes you authentically you.

I’m going to leave you with this incredible little gift from the internet that a girlfriend of mine directed me to last night, cause it really does sum it all up so well:

Stay golden, friends.