I’m at a crossroads in my life.
There are two paths presenting themselves clearly in front of me. In two very different directions than I ever expected my life to go. As I’ve said before, I’m caught in the biggest explosion of my life – where each day seems worse than the last and it’s literally all I can do to get out of bed and put my best foot forward on a regular basis. I feel like I go to bed “cured”, thinking that it’ll be the start of something new, and then something else happens the next day that just squishes me and puts me in a new kind of position. I had a traumatic lifestyle change several weeks ago and then I had stomach surgery on Monday – so it’s been one thing after another.
I once heard a story of a guy who took his own life – who, in his note, said that at his young age, he couldn’t feel joy in his life. He didn’t know how to find it and it wasn’t something he knew anymore.
So I think it’s important, during horrible times like these, when the future seems ridiculously bleak and the light at the end of the tunnel seems SO far away, to reflect and remind yourself that there is joy everywhere. I’ve been journaling A LOT lately (I’ve literally almost filled up an entire book in the past week and a half) about my current situation and yesterday, I took the time to write a list of things that bring me joy, and I felt like they are worth sharing on here.
So, without further ado, a list of things (in no particular order) that bring joy and happiness into my life:
- Daisy, my dog. She’s SO sweet and just a genuinely kind and loving soul, and she just brings a smile to everyone who meets her.
- That feeling you get when you buy an incredible pair of shoes that you totally know that you don’t need and will barely wear. But you just HAD to have them.
- My incredible, extraordinary friends. I appreciate all of you.
- My family. They may be crazy, but they are transparent. They are honest. They are critical, but they are supportive. They want to see me fly.
- My Anthropologie “Volcano” Candle. That thing is a godsend.
- Spending an entire afternoon by the pool with a good book.
- A fresh bouquet of flowers. Even better if they are brought to you by someone you love.
- Messages from people, whether they are texts or phone calls, reminding you that they love you and that you’re on their mind.
- A really, really juicy chocolate covered strawberry that gets chocolate all over your face.
- My beloved leather jacket. That thing is perfection.
- Seat warmers in a car on a cold night.
- That feeling you get when you book a plane ticket for a brand new destination.
- My little chats with the guy at the Shake place I go to on a regular basis. There’s something special about being a “regular” and having someone know what you like without even having to ask you.
- Sitting on the phone for hours with my friend. Being able to talk to them about everything and nothing at the same time. Knowing that I’m not being judged for my thoughts or my emotions, but that my honesty is creating stronger friendships with those I care about.
- A fresh book. It’s like a new beginning.
- Finding an incredible treasure at a thrift store – and having to restrain yourself from jumping up and down like a crazy person about it.
- Chicken avocado burritos from El Pollo Loco. Without the cabbage. And with black beans instead of pinto. I could eat one everyday. (And I’m on a liquid diet right now, and I’m really considering buying one and throwing it in a blender to see what will happen…)
- When I sell something online. It’s a total rush when I’m lying in bed and I get the email telling me I made money from doing absolutely nothing.
- A great plate of macaroni & cheese.
- Walking into a Madewell store and feeling like I’m seeing what the inside of my brain looks like.
- A great episode of The Mindy Project. Mindy Kaling, in general. Can she be my spirit animal?
- An incredible glass of wine, shared with my favorite friends. Usually, we’re all circled around the table with music blasting. There’s laughter and gossip and I just feel like I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be.
- Instagram photos. Deciding which snippets of my life that I want to share with the universe.
- Blasting my favorite music REALLY LOUDLY, whether it be in the car or in my bedroom.
- Bacon wrapped steak. Bacon wrapped dates. Get in my belly!
- When someone, out of the blue, comes up and tells me that they look up to me.
- Seeing a really great movie for the first time and leaving the theater with a sense of wonder that’s very difficult to explain.
- Daydreaming about Morocco. Daydreaming about the Northern Lights. Daydreaming about the Great Wall of China. My Wanderlust is out of control right now.
- The knowledge that more school is always an option. Education is never off the table.
- That feeling you get when you know that you did a stellar job at something.
- Vanilla soy lattes.
- The idea that I CAN and WILL be a bad ass bitch with the future that I WANT. No one can take my dreams, passions or aspirations away from me. They are mine and mine alone.
- Knowing that, deep down, I know that I’ll be okay. I know I’ll rise above this shitstorm that I’m caught in. I know that I’ll be better off. I know that I’m an honest person, who is capable of loving unconditionally, and that will take me far.
Soooo, dear blog friends, I encourage all of you to write a list of your joys, too.
Because, if anything, joy is infectious and I think that we really could do with a lot more joy and happiness in this world.
