I had my palm read at work last week.

My favorite IT guy came over and asked to see our palms, and then proceeded to blow us away with how well he was able to navigate through the lines on our hands and offer us a scarily accurate synopsis on our personalities.

Mine? I’m close with my family, and I have been since I was a child. When I meet someone I’m interested in, I latch on. When I’m in love, I’m not the one to let go. I may or may not have two children. I’m wishy washy; it’s hard for me to make a decision (I said it’s cause I’m a libra…).

And the kicker?

Apparently my lines told him that I was destined for something big, but that I just haven’t figured it out yet.

So of course, as the notorious over-thinker that I am, I have spent way too many hours on the subway to and from work while blasting the new Taylor Swift album and old school Sam Smith (get in my mindset…) thinking about what that destined “thing” is meant to be. And at the end of the day, do I really trust an IT guy from K-Swiss with a potential future that may or may not actually come true?

Destiny can be a scary word, sometimes. I think about it more than I should, the idea that something is just meant to be…that it’s written in your stars, and that absolutely nothing you can do will change it from happening. The universe working the way it’s meant to work, you know? This idea has been running around in circles in my head for the past couple of months; how nothing can really be in our control and how we just have to do our best to keep our heads above water.

I was talking to one of my best girlfriends about how, if I had never been dumped all those years ago, we would’ve never bonded again. Fast forward a few months, I’m visiting her in Austin and then a few months after, she visits me in LA – and now she’s living here full time. She’s literally six minutes away from me at all times now. The universe working in action. Destiny. And at the end of the day, I’d much rather have her over any other guy. And it’s crazy to just sit back and watch everything pan out…and see how much better you are for it.

BUT then it makes me consider the opposite. Of the things that are completely in our control; the aspects of our lives that we have the ability to mold to our own liking. Want to move across the country? Do it. Want to quit your job? YOLO. Want to kiss that cute guy who drives you crazy? Smooch, smooch.

So basically, what all of my subway-therapy-thoughts have lead to is this: I have absolutely nothing to lose. 

If something is destined, it’s going to happen regardless of everything and anything I do. BUT, if it’s something trivial, or something that sits at the top of my head and tortures me, whatever. Just say yes. Just do it. Stop complaining. Stop bullshitting to yourself. Stop making excuses. Take the risk, press send. Apologize later if you totally fuck things up, but don’t sit there obsessing over the outcome before you even give it a shot.

To sum this whole thing up, this whole post was pretty much a long winded way of saying I have no real control, but for the first time, I feel completely comfortable with that. I’M OUT OF CONTROL (in the best possible way).

I’m comfortable with letting things work out the way they’re supposed to. I’ll keep doing what I’m doing. I’ll keep working at my career as much as I can, and hoping for the best (even when I screw something up…which happens a lot). I’ll keep going on bad dates. I’ll keep trying to perfect the recipe for a dirty martini while doing laundry on my couch. I’ll keep chopping jeans I buy at thrift stores. I’ll keep laughing with this group of friends that I’ve been blessed with, who are so beyond what I ever could have imagined.

Life is so so so so good and I’m confident that what’s meant to be, will be. And, without a doubt, I’ll love the adventures that I’m blessed to experience along the way.